


Baby, please forgive my sins

by kurenohikari



Series: Insecurities [1]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Annalise regrets her decisions, Confessions, Connor is done with Annalise and leaves to Stanford, M/M, Mentions of Danny and Stiles, Mentions of Sterek, Misunderstandings, Moving Out, Protective Oliver, Romance, Sad Connor, Season 2, The team is protective of Connor, insecure connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:11:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8429242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurenohikari/pseuds/kurenohikari
Summary: What if when Oliver found out of Connor's decision of changing schools to Stanford noticed the little signs of lying on his boyfriend's face that he missed before. What if at that moment he recalls the event of that eventful night that he decided to let him back into his life and discovers that Connor has been lying to him all along. What if Oliver demands answers and this time just the truth. What will Connor do?





	1. Baby, please tell me the truth

Oliver was everything for me, no matter how much time I took to discover it and make peace with it, Oliver is and will always be the most precious thing in my life. He is the purest soul I have ever met, and has the goldest heart I've seen. So you'll know my surprise when he took me back and forgave my infidelity. Not because he forgave me, I saw that coming, Oliver is too good to hold a rancor for too much. But because he still didn't see what a lose of time I am. However, as I am a selfish man I took advantage of it and will make the best of it until the other shoe drops and I'll lose the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

Of course, that doesn't mean I didn't do my best every day since then to keep him in my life. Taking him to dates, being more considerate on bed, making sure to order his favourites whenever I bring take outs, gifts from time to time like flowers or chocolates and renting his movies, even though I never understood them or liked them. But he always does that for me, so it is only fair that I return the favour. But I don't only do it for him, Oliver is the first person that I've ever _wanted_ to do these for.

So when I was confronted with these scene... well, my heart practically broke by the knowledge that my relationship was over now that my secret is surely out.

"Connor why are you doing research of Stanford?" my boyfriend demanded to know.

"I... I can't stand Annalise or the team anymore, or this city. So I was thinking of moving out to Stanford and apply for an internship with Laurel Lance, she is a very good layer that has a very good history of sentencing high class criminals in Starlight City. She moved to Palo Alto after her boyfriend Tony's death, now she teaches in Stanford but also still works as a layer in a very good firm" I answered, trying to distract him so he wouldn't notice my white lies "I thought that now that you quit your job and started working for S.T.A.R Labs, you wouldn't mind moving to Palo Alto. After all you work from home now and Palo Alto is closer to Central City than Philadelphia. I still didn't get an answer, but what do you think? Would you want to move out to Palo Alto with me?" I asked him shyly, hating how insecure he made me feel.

After all, he was a brilliant older man that has made a career for himself working in one of the best Labs of the country. He has an apartment for himself and knows how to take care of himself. I on the other hand, I am just a child _still_ in school living in his apartment as he maintain me and my sorry ass. I feel like the only thing that I could give him that other older and more mature men couldn't, is a young body and pretty face. So, I used them the best I could... as I had always done. But this time not for information, but for his attention and spoiling.

"Why don't you try to say that again and this time not lying" Oliver replied with a firm tone and a sight glare, this was the first time since he kicked me out of his apartment that I've seen him so angry. Which made me more nervous.

"I... I don't know what you mean by that Ollie" I kept on my lie, because I could handle his anger... but I couldn't handle his disgust and hate If he finds out the truth "That's all, I would never lie to you".

"Then why did you do it that night?" he asked me, I stopped pacing to look at him confused "You lied to me about you having drug issues, and I am sure that this sudden change of universities is related to that night and the panic attack you had" I gulped hard at his serious face and cursed in my head how good he knows me "Now, tell me what's going on Connor. I can't help you otherwise. Why... What are you running from?".

"You can't help me Ollie" I chuckled humorleslly, looking at the floor in shame. I was a coward for not looking at him in the eyes as I confessed my darkest secret, but I wouldn't handle the look on his face. Also, I didn't have any right to look at him, to taint him with the eyes of a murderer "I really screwed things this time and there is no turning back" I hated how my voice broke at the end of the, I loathed how weak I am for crying in front of him.

"Con... there is always a chance to make things right, there is no such thing as 'no turning back'" Oliver, as the kind person he is. tried to comfort me "I'll help you, I'll be by your side ever step of the way" he assured me as he got off of the bed and walked towards me, so he could comfort me not only with his words but also with his body.

He didn't know, I didn't know, how much I needed to hear that promise, that reassurance. But I also knew that it was a false fantasy, that once he knew the truth he would ran out of the door away from me and out of my life.

"There is no turning back from murdering someone Ollie" my words froze him on his place.

We stayed like that, not moving or speaking for a long time, until Oliver finally rushed past me, grabbed his jacket and keys, and exited the apartment. Leaving me behind with a broken heart and tears on my face. I cried myself to sleep that night, hugging Oliver's pillow as close as I could, trying to make the loneliness go away. But I couldn't. I missed classes the next day, I didn't even bother picking up the phone any of the thousand times my team and Annalise called me for work, I just stayed on bed waiting and praying for Oliver to come home. To forgive me and accept running away with me... of course that was wishful thinking and would never happen. I just needed to start believing it myself.

 


	2. Baby, please give us another chnce

The following week was absolute Hell. I almost didn't eat, I certainly didn't sleep and surely made the best to dodge Annalise and the team. I ignored their calls, didn't go to work and wouldn't speak to them during class. The only moment I interacted with one of them was during class whenever Annalise asked me to answer one of her stupid questions, which she already knows I have the answer to. I am not one of the best for nothing.

Talking about class, it was the end of this one. However, my luck was _so good_ that Annalise finally decided to confront me this same day "Mr. Walsh stay, we need to talk" she called out for me when I was heading out of the door.

"Of course the whole team would be here" I scoffed, chuckling humourlessly.

"What's gotten into you Connor?!" demanded to know a very angry Annalise "You've been ignoring us, skipping your job and self-destroying yourself. Just look at you! You look as hell!".

"You want to know what's wrong with me?!" I exclaimed with a sardonic smirk "You are what's wrong with me! All of you! We could have finished all of this a long time ago, as soon as he was dead we could have just gone to the police station and told them that it was on self defence. But no, you had to manipulate us into playing along your stupid chess game. Did you know... di you ever cared about how that would affect us? How a secret like that could ruin our lives? I keep on having fucking panic attacks ever since that fateful night! Everything calmed down once Oliver came back into my life, but the lies, the secrets, the pain and regret were still there. All that guilt is consuming me..." I chocked on my words, hating how weak I sounded, hating how teary my eyes were. But smiling in disbelief that only when they finally saw me break they started to care, which was very clear in their uncomfortable looks and eyes full of shame "It is consuming all of us" I sighed, combing my hair with my fingers angrily "But now he is gone... Oliver is gone. I told him about what I did and he walked away. I can't blame him, I would have done the same if the roles were reversed... but it still hurts like a bitch".

"So, you are doing this to yourself because your boyfriend left you?" Asher asked incredulously, trying to sound as arrogant and selfish as he always does. But by his tense posture and the soft edge on his tone, I could tell that he cared, that he was sorry and angry at Oliver for hurting me like this.

"Oliver is the best damn thing that had ever happened to him, I loved him with all my heart and thanked God for every day I could spend with him. I knew that it wouldn't last, that I wasn't good enough for him... but I love him, he made me a better person and so damn happy that I didn't care how much it would hurt when he was finally gone. However, I would have never imagined that it would have hurt this much" I clenched my fists in anger and glared at my teacher with so much hater that it even made her recoil "You made my life miserable, you ruined me, all of you but specially you Annalise. Now the only light in my life is gone, ran out of my life in disgust when he found out the truth of what a horrible person I am. I don't thing that even moving to Stanford would change anything now... not without him. I believe... no, I am almost sure that I can not keep on going on without him anymore..." they all gasped at the implications of my words, not believing their ears or that I could really mean that "You didn't notice, did you? How low I really was".

With that said I walked away of the room, of their lives and headed to _our_ apartment. I hoped that Oliver would be there, but that was wishful thinking. Oliver wasn't there. I skipped dinner, as I've been doing with almost all my meals this last week, and cried myself to sleep... again.

The next week things got easier, not because the hurt subsided or was less. But because I had one thing less to worry about, the team and Annalise had finally stopped bothering me. No more phone calls, or demands to stay after class... or at least it was like that until seven days after our talk, when they did it again.

"What is it this time?! I told you everything I had to tell you already" I said impatiently. Annalise was sitting behind her desk, the rest of the team behind her, it was almost funny how much they looked as faithful pathetic little puppies.

"Congratulations" she said.

"W... what?!" I exclaimed very confused.

 _Did she just... no impossible... what for?_ I thought not believing my ears at all.

"I heard from Laurel that Stanford accepted you" she rephrased "She used to be one of my interns like all of you while she was studying. When I told her about you she told me that there will be no problem with accepting you as one of hers, she just will need an interview for procedure but that you could be relax that you have the job. Also, I made sure to make it look just as a normal transfer and not you quitting. That is not well seen in this kind of job, the less bad background you have the best" as she kept on talking I became more and more confused. _What was going on? Who is this woman and what have she done with the real Annalise?_ I thought in disbelief "I also made a few phone calls and found an ex-client that owns a building nearby the university, he says that he would sell it to you for quite a fair price. When I mentioned the favor that he owns me he assured me that he would give you a good discount".

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded to know, not knowing what she would want in return.

"Because I failed you... I failed all of you. I am trying to make things right. That's why I called another ex-client of mine and made an appointment for when you go to Palo Alto the next semester, she is a psychologist. One of the best if I am being honest, you need that" she answered, worry in her eyes. Now that I think about it, that's the first time I saw true honest feelings in her face that weren't for her own. 

"I need it? We all do!" I snapped at her, the gratefulness I felt seconds ago replaced by anger and embarrassment.

"We do" she conceded "But you more than us, the other day you admitted that you wanted to kill yourself now that Oliver was gone from your life!" she snapped back at me "I might have failed all of you horribly, but you are still like my kids for me!" we all looked at her in shock, she had never been this honest with us, _never._ And she caring like that for us... it was unthinkable for us, until she just admitted so"I will not lose any of you, and your attachment to Oliver is not healthy. Not when you depend on him for being a good person, taking care of yourself and... being alive" I was stuck shock by her words, I've never thought about it like that before "Has he had come back yet?" she questioned me softly after a few moments of silence.

"No" I answered, voice showing how heartbroken and sad I felt.

"Connor" the girls murmured sadly, walking towards me to envelop me into a tight hug.

"Connor, please give us another chance to prove ourselves" asked Annalise "We are not talking about you staying here, if I am being honest you going to Stanford would be safer for you. I am talking about being friends... a team. Would you?".

I looked at each of their faces, teary, honest, sad, longing eyes staring at me wishfully. I just couldn't refuse "Ok" I replied with a small smile, the first one since two weeks ago.

"Then let's go to your apartment!" exclaimed Ashton happily "We brought alcohol and you need to have a night out with your friends to complain and talk bad about your ex-boyfriend".

I chuckled at that, we all did "So what are you waiting for lazy pants? Or are you a pansy?!" dared me Michaela, knowing that I couldn't turn down her dare. Or else she would never let me live it through.

"Ok" I said again and let them drag me towards my home. Getting drunk didn't sound that bad, especially when I am doing it with friends. 


	3. Baby, please come back

"You are an idiot Asher!" I exclaimed, throwing my head backwards and laughing heartedly.

I still didn't know if I should trust my tea... my ex-team so fast, especially after everything we have gone trough. But these last two weeks had been practically hell for me, and since we had... reconciled earlier today things had gotten easier, if only a bit. What surprised me the most was that Asher, the asshole of Asher, was the one who got me to laugh firstly after fourteen days of only weeping. 

Of course my laughter only continued for a few more seconds, until the apartment's door opened. My heart stopped beating immediately. The only other person that had the keys to the flat was Oliver, which meant that he was back. My heart sang for a second, until reality crash my happiness.

What if he came back and was disappointed in seeing me? What if he was expected me gone? Did he leave me alone these last two weeks with the intention for me to pack and get te hell away from his life? Was I so stupid and pathetic to believe that there was still hope and stayed waiting like a dog for his owner to come back? Did he spend these days with another man? Did he already moved on and forgot about me? Did he finally noticed what a loss of time I am and that he could do way better than me?

My worst fear came true when my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, enter the apartment laughing along side with a tall, handsome brown haired man with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen, not counting Oliver of course. I didn't even know him and I already knew that he must be a very  honest person and had a heart of gold, his eyes practically shone with kindness. Not like me, a liar murderer.

I lowered my head, not being able to bear the happiness of the new couple, the happiness the best thing in my life, the love of my life was having with another man. From the corner of my eye I noticed my... team mates? friends? tensing, faces concentred in anger, ready to attack Oliver for upsetting me. I smiled sourly, wishing that we didn't have to get to this point to start acting like a family.

But that anger and my sadness were also ephemeral, because soon I was enveloped in a tight, warm and loving hug. Oliver the one who is always shy, especially in public, and doesn't do a lot of PDA was soon kissing the life out of me, repeating over and over again against my lips 'how much he missed me' and 'how happy he is that everything was over'. I didn't really get what he meant by 'finally over' but Oliver missed me, Oliver was hugging me, Oliver was kissing me, Oliver was paying attention to _me_ not that handsome man he came in our home with.

Everything was forgotten the moment I was enveloped in his arms, I didn't care that he had left me for two weeks to cry myself to sleep, I didn't even care that he might have spent those fourteen days with another man that wasn't me. I didn't care how pathetic I looked clinging into the man that abandoned me, kissing him with teary eyes as if he had never left me to suffer on my own. Desperate, I know. But he is the sun and moon to me, he is everything for me and now that I've got him back there is no way I'll let him go away.

"Ok, Ollie I think that's enough. I am sure that they all are curious of where you've been hiding these last weeks" the handsome man spoke behind us, I almost growled at him for interrupting our reunion but he was right, I wanted to know where the love of my life was. 

"Oh, yes of course! Thank you Barry" Oliver released me, I almost whined but thankfully was able to stop myself. Because, really whine? I am becoming a pansy "Well, after Connor told me what happened..." I winced at the mention of my crime "I couldn't let him, or you for helping him cover the crime scene, go to prison for something you did in self-defence" I looked at him shocked, I didn't get to tell him I killed in self-defence. How did he know that? "So, I called my old friend Barry here, we work together in S.T.A.R Labs and he is also the adopted son of my uncle Joe. He also works for the police force in Central City, so it was easy to pin the murder to a serial killer from there. When I told him what happened he was fast to help, we couldn't loose a single moment. So, he worked ourselves to fatigue until we finally got it right. We just came from the hearing, the man was sentenced to a life condemn in prison and Annalise's husband's case finally close. We were lucky that he was in the city during the episode and that he had the same car as you did Connor, the only difference was the license. But with my hacking abilities that was easy to solve, then we just needed Barry to say that there was trace of the victim's blood in the serial killer's car, even if there wasn't, write it in a report and then give it to the supervisor of the case".

"It's all over now? We don't have to fear that we will be send to prison for this anymore?" West asked relieved.

"No" replied Barry flashing us a big smile, kind eyes shinning "But next time just go to the police and tell them what really happened, I don't enjoy covering a murder".

"We will, thank you" Laurel assured him, relief and happiness clear in her face as she leaned into West's embrace.

"Now if you'll excuse me I have to return to my hotel room, my train leaves early tomorrow" Barry told us.

Oliver walked away from me so he could hug his cousin, you don't have the slightest idea of how relieved I am of that "Thank you, I couldn't have done it without you".

"Your welcome, but remember you owe me. A big one" Barry replied.

"That I do" Oliver assured him, before closing the door.

"How did you know that I did it in self-defence?" I asked him, these weren't the first words I expected to tell the love of my life when I saw him again, but I really needed to know the answer. I sensed that it could change everything if I did.

"You did?! Thank goodness, I am so relieved that I didn't lie to Barry... even if I kind of did" sighed Oliver relieved.

"You didn't know? And you still covered a murderer for Conor?" Annalise asked surprised, not a look I am used to see in her face. But of course Oliver would be the one to put it on her face, he is that amazing. But I couldn't held it over her head, we were all surprised by this revelation.

"Of course I would, I love him what else is there to explain" Oliver answered as if the answer was the most normal thing in the world.

It made me just run over him, jump him and kiss the life out of him. I really am lucky, Oliver was just perfect.


	4. Baby, please see yourself as I see you

It's been a years since we've moved into Palo Alto and started our new lives, but that doesn't mean that we moved immediately after Berry and I covered up Connor's crime. No, we had to wait until he finished the year in Philadelphia. After all, starting in middle of the school's year would be complicated for Con. Even if law is the same, the way that they teach it was different in the two colleges. So we waited, I continued working for S.T.A.R labs in home while searching for someone interested in buying our flat, Connor returned to work for Annalise for that time being until we moved to Palo Alto, and the both of us continued steady into our relationship.

Of course, that doesn't mean that we didn't have problems or that everything was perfect. After the two weeks that I've been gone from home trying to clean up the mess that Con and his team made, my boyfriend changed. His kisses became kind of desperate, as if every one might be the last one. Every time he woke up alone, because I might be in the bathroom or got up for a glass of water, he got depressed and didn't return to sleep until I laid down again. And when I went back to bed he would threw his leg over my body, wrapped his arms around me and snuggled into me until there would be no space between us but the clothes, and even then he would be displaced.

He became very possessive, clingy and jealous. Three things that I never expected from mister I-am-the-best-of-the-world-and-no-one-could-make-me-feel-insecure. But Connor was, he became very insecure. The first time I noticed that his increase of heavy PDA was a way of mark his territory (me) was during one of his cases when I met again with an ex-student of me. You see when I finished college I went to a small town called Beacon Hills to work as a robotic and cybernetic teacher in the local high-school while studying in Berkeley for my doctorate. There I met two brilliant students, Stiles Stilinski and Danny Mahealani. After two years I had to leave because of some problems, and went to Philadelphia to work. I never imagined that I would meet again with Stiles, especially not when his husband's ex-girlfriend tried to kill him like she killed the rest of Mr.Hale's family. I was very happy to see one of my favourite students again, but worried because of the situation for which we met again. Connor of course with all his attitude changes misunderstood everything and we had a huge fight. Then it's when everything finally clicked, something was bothering my boyfriend dearly.

We had sex every night at least once, not because Con was a sex maniac as previously in our relationship, but because he was afraid. He returned to speak what he believed I wanted to hear instead of stop thinking what he was going to say every second and be himself. However, this time it wasn't because it was part of a plan of his, but because he was afraid. Afraid of what I don't know, but as soon as I discovered what that look in his face meant every time we had sex, he kissed me desperately or he thought before speaking I was determined to find out what was the reason behind his fear.

However, a year after and I still haven't found the reason. Until I overheard a conversation between Con and his big sister in the kitchen. We had invited both of our families, my team from S.T.A.R labs, Annalise's team and Connor's new team here in Palo Alto to celebrate our one year anniversary living in our new home. Thankfully it wasn't our first time meeting each other's family, that was awkward enough the first time. But luckily they had accepted us fast enough, Connor's family because they were very grateful that I had straighten up Con and made him so happy, and my family because my boyfriend had made me less shy, bolder and very happy as well.

Makena and Asher were telling me how much they liked living in our ex-apartment, yes they got together and bought us our flat, when we ran out of wine. I stood up and walked towards the kitchen for another bottle when I finally got the answer I've been looking for, for so long.

"Connor what's long?" Gemma asked him with a strained smile, surely trying to lighten up the tense mood of the kitchen "Aren't you happy? You've been living a whole year with the man you love, you are studying in one of the most prestigious universities, working for one of the top layers of the region, have tons of friends that came here to celebrate your love with you... Why are you so tense and sad? Does... does Oliver hurt you?" she asked him softly, I would have been hurt if I didn't notice the disbelief tone in her own voice and Connor's fast response.

"No! No, how could you think that?! Oliver is the best thing that happened in my life, the only reason why I live" Con answered angrily "He treats me as his most precious possession, with so much care and love that sometimes I can't believe that someone... that _he_ could love me so unconditionally. Sometimes I think that I don't deserve his love" he whispered softly, a comment that almost went unheard. Both, Gemma and I, opened our mouths to protest but we were cut off by him again "Why would you think so bad of Oliver?!" he demanded to know, still angry by his sharp tone.

"Because sometimes people aren't as the same behind close doors, Oliver is so perfect that sometimes is hard to know if he is real. He is handsome, polite, a gentleman, has a doctorate and works for one of the best laboratories in the United States. He even got mom and dad smitten since the first meeting, _dad and mom_ Connor. Our parents like no one, they still haven't gotten used to my husband and he gave them grand-children. But one meeting, flowers and chocolate and they practically adopted Oliver. _No one_ is that perfect Connor. And when we meet again you are silent, edgy and moody, acting like a fucking abused wife refusing to tell me what's wrong. Sorry for fucking caring!" Gemma yelled in frustration and worry, now her words did hurt me but I could see her point.

"Oliver had never, isn't and will never raise a hand at me or try to abuse me psychologically" Con answered with a conviction that warmed my heart "The problem is me. As you've said he is so perfect and I am so... not. Why would he want to be my boyfriend?! I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and him to notice what a big mistake he had done by wasting his time with me and go to someone who is better, someone who really deserves someone as perfect as Oliver" by the time he had finished talking he had tears running through his cheeks.

"Oh, Connor" Gemma murmured sadly, hugging her brother tightly as he cried on her chest.

I decided to make my presence known when Con had finally calmed down "Oliver!" he yelped panicking "I... what are you doing here?" he asked, wiping his tears rapidly, making a poor job of trying to hide his sadness.

"Gemma could you please leave us alone?" I asked my boyfriend's sister softly but leaving no place to protests. She nodded firmly, giving a comforting squeeze to her brother's shoulder and then left the kitchen "Connor... why can't you see what I see in you? You are so handsome, intelligent, witted and kind that it's me who can't believe you would want to date an old guy like me".

"What?! But you are so mature and you've succeeded in your work life! While I am still a student. You must surely get bored with a child like me" he protested.

"That might be truth, but you are young Connor. You could have the world with how beautiful and intelligent you are, a deadly combination, but you chose to just have me when you could have way more. And Con, I would never get bored of you. You are wiser than many guy's your age, and you still have a log time to go... that's why I wanted to wait a bit more before doing this, but the truth is that I don't have anymore patience to wait any longer" I told him, walking past him I opened one of the kitchen's cabinets and took a small black velvet box, to then fall on my knee and opened it, revealing an engagement ring "I know that our relationship might be new, that you are still young and might not want to be chained into such a great responsibility as marriage is, but I love you with all my heart Connor Walsh and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side whenever it might take me. Would you please make me the honor of becoming my husband?".

"I... yes! yes! yes! Of course, I do!" he jumped on me, kissing me all over the face until he finally captured my lips in a heated make out, which I returned happily when I noticed his kisses weren't desperate anymore but returned to be the same as before.

Now I knew that everything would be fine and that there was nothing to worry anymore, after all I got my boyfr... fiancé back.


End file.
